we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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