So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize