So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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