If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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