can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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