so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
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YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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