Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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