i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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