just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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