did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
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Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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