dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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