I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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