just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize