craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize