Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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