also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize