i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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