wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize