Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize