Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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