I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize