i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i out mim tonsoeep
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