He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
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