Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
please come you make the beer taste better
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
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There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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