roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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