Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize