The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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