He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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