it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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