I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize