listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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