In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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