dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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