i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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