yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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