I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just invented taco cereal.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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