this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize