the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize