Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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