Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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