Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize