so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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