I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize