So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize