did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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