sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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