If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
