Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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