you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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