R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize