I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize