Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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